Broken in Half
by Hatcest
Summary: Harry finds himself wondering if his admirers are in love with him or in love with the dark secret he keeps hidden away from their prying eyes…
1. Default Chapter

ThE BesT Harry PoTTer StOrY evEr!

This story is all about how all blonde eople in then world ar VEELAS. And all people dress in black who breakthe heavy and don't talk much are DEMONTORS. DEMENTORS. Deticated to all those super awesome kool people who write about that!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.

Once upon a tume there was a boy named Harry Fucking Potter. Actually his real name was Harry James Potter, but that's the name that all the boys screamed at ight so we'll just call him that. He was fucking hot. And cute. And really hot because he had black hair but he wasn't a dementor. He was HALF DEMENTOR . . . 

Because he was totally half dementor all the kids made fun of him because whenever he met someone new after talking to them for 2 minutes he would tell them his deep dark stoery and how he was so hurt by it and he never told anyone things like that. That really turned them on. Which is where he got his nickname from.

So Harry Fucking in the Bed Potter was half dementor. What other half was he? (author's note: YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO FIND OUT YOULL NEVER EVER SEE THIS COMING OMFG SCONE IS HOT) This was all the rage for discussion at school. They'd ask each other over pumpkin juice "what other half was he?" But harry would never ever tell, even while he was nailing that hot chaser in bed under the stary moonlight. In bed. He was nailing a guy. It was hot. And gay. Like his name, Harry Fucking in the Bed Potter. (author's note: If you don't like that then YOU HOMOFOBES CAN JUST GO AWAY AND RESPOND MY OPINION YOU FUCKHEADS) While he was nailing it was so fucking hot and pulsing and hot. Like your mom. Except she was being nauiled by Harry Fucking potter, only she wasn't because she's not a guy.

So harry went to potions class one day and snape asked him for his essay on Veelas!.!.! Harry went pale when he heard the word Veela. Noone knew why, even Hermione who was the smartest witch in the school. That's because she was off being nailed by Ginny then. They were failing class. But it was OK because Hermie was so smart.

So harry said to snape "I hate you I can't believe youd make me write this on this" And Snape said "I hate you too 100 points from Griffindor. And clean my floors with your tongue after class." And when snape said 'floors' he meant 'his stomach.' Harry was sad. He didn't like snape's stomach. He only like snape's big fat cock in his bed when he was nailing him so hard under the moon. And the stars. It was hot.

After class everyone ran up to harry and asked if he was OK. Harry said "yeah but I'm sad because I'm HALF VEELA" Everyone was shocked. They were like "dude, your hair's black" and the hermione who was the smartest witch in the school said "you guys are fucking retards, he's half dementor too, which is why his hair's black duh." And harry was like "God you bunch of candy ass morons, jeez yeah."

Afterwards everyone suddenly understood why they all wanted to be nailed by Harry Fucking in a Bed Potter. He was VEELA (author's note: veelas are really hot and everyone wants to be nailed by them). Everyone then wondered if it was really the veela they were attracted to or harry's fucking hot nailings that he gave out under the moon.

THE END?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?


	2. Their love was so manjuicy

Chapter Two: their love was so manjuiicey

Omg thank u all so much for the great reviews!

After the entire school had found out that harry was half VEELA the other kids got wise to his hot nailings. Nooone was willing to sleep with him anymore because they thought he 3was using his hot mansexy VEELANESS and his vinerial diseases to influence their puddy minds. Into having more hot mansex. Even the GIRLS wouldn't have sex with him! (author's note: Not that Harry fucking in the fucking bed Potter would have sex with them because he was GAY (author's author's note: but there wasn't much fucking going on in the fucking bed now was there? POOR HARRY (author's author's author's note: I would so have sex with harry in that bed)

JUST THEN a new transfer student named Hatcest came and was put in Griffindor. But they forgot to give him his own bed. So he had to sleep in Harry's bed because Harry was the prefect and captain of the quiddich team and kid of the year and was the nicest guy in school who gave the best nailing except he was nailing noone right then. Because he was HALF DEMENTOR AND HALF VEELA. AND HALF DEMENTOOOR.

Hatcest had lots of hot buttsex and hatsex with Harry fucking in the fucking bed potter. Except Harry didn't have a hat because he had such a no good horrible life. The dursleys beat him and dumbledore made him sleep with his giant cock in the gargoyle statue at night and Snape took all his clothes so he was naked all day long when Voldemort was not killing his owl. So he was naked, but it was OK b/cuz it was hot. And glissening in the moonlight under the stary skies.

But then one day Hatcest discovered the horrible trueth. Harry was HALF DEMTENTOR! Hatcet knew he should have known because harry had black hair and everyone knows that if you have black hair you're a dementor. Hatcest then transferred to Hufflepuff where he becaume a lame ass. And was not hot and dressed in yellow and black like a not hot bumblebee that just got fucked up the ass by a giant dementor riding a griffin.

Harry was very very sad that he did not have hatcest to nail in the bed every night. And he took the hat too, so harry was left naked and glistening again. And nailing. Did noone love him? Harry was sure that he was the most unlucky half veela half dementor on earth. Even wrose, Draco Malfoy who he hated and wished would go get hit by a bludger while standing naked in the moonlight, dripping with hot and gayness.

"Why are you in my room, Malfoy?" Harry said.

"Why are you naked?" Draco said back.

Harry wanted to explain that hatcest had taken all clothes and opened his mouth to say so. But he couldn't talk. Because Draco's big fat glissening cock was in it. It was hot. And gay. After 10 minutes of pure awesome hotness Harry finally said "I hate you, Malfoy!'

And Draco totally said: "I hate you too, Potter!"

"And I hate your big fat glissening cock that tasted so good!"

"You suck, Potter!"

"I'm gonna eat your face off, Malfoy!"

"I'm gonna kill everyone you ever touched, Potter!"

"Draco, you're hot I love you."

"I've loved you since I met you, Potter! BEFORE I met you. I used to dream about you. It was hot. And gay."

"Let's fuck, like, 20 times in the broomcloset, Malfoy. Under the moonlight."

And so they did. Even though there wasn't any windows in the broomcloset. That is how Harry Fucking in the Broomcloset potter foiund true gay love.

THE END?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?


	3. Harry's dark dark dark dark dark secret

Part 3: Harry's dark dark dark dark darkest secret EVAR

After, like, four days, Harry and draco stopped having hot man-sex in the broom closet. Which was good because things were getting sticky. And gay. The gayness was ovre whelming and was starting to attract bugs. Which were not gay, any everyone outside wanted to know who was making all that noise and stuff. Anyway, after leaving the closet Harry wet to class.

During the entire class, harry couldn't stop thinking about the hot man sex he wanted to have under the moonlight in the broom closet with draco after class. It would be hot. And glistening, but it wouldn't really be under the moonlight because there still were no windows. But it was ok, because having gay buttsex was a magic in of itself. Dumblledore had said that love was the greatest power so Harry thought that he nailed draco enough that they could make a window or two.

Harry kept thinking about the hotness and wished he was giving out a hot nailing instead of being in class. Snape yelled at him for not stirring his cauldron fast enough and stuck his hand down harrys pants because he thought that would help. Just then, Harry felt funny.

Just then, harry felt funny!

"I feel funny!" Harry said.

"Do you feel funny?" Draco said, his voice full of hot man-juice and concern.

"Yeah I feel funny!" Harry told him and suddenly he threw up in draco's face. It was hot. Like vomit. Because it was vomit.

Harry went to madam pompfrey in the infirmary and told her that he felt funny. She looked at him and asked, "are you putting on weight? What have you been eating lately?"

Harry tried to remember what he had eaten in the past week. But the only thing he could remember was draco's giant cock. It was so hot. And gay. The gay was important. Because it was magic. Madame promprey nodded with knowledge and told him the most deep dark secret evar:

"You're PREGNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT!"

"Oh my god I'm PREGNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT!ONEONE!" Harry yelled back in shock and crazy.

"Yes you're pregnaaaaaaaaaaaaaant!"

"But I'm a guy."

"You're M – PREGNAAAAAAAAAANT!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Harry didn't know what to do. He wondered if all those hot nailing had been worth it. He recounted each hot glistening nailing happily. It took him two days but afterward madame pompfrey came back and sasked him what he wanted to do.

"I want to have abortion so I can go back to having hot nailings" he told madame prompfrey.

"Ok" she said, "but this is a magic abortion. You can only abort a baby in the first trimester. With magic. And the first magic trimester is totally only two minutes long."

"DOUBLE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Harry thought hard for long long time and finally asked her "Cant I have a normal abortion?"

"Where would the baby come out?" she asked back.

"TRIPLE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!11ONEONE!211!"

And so Harry fucking in the broom closet, and occasionally the bed, Potter had his first baby. It was ONE QUARTER DEMENTOOOOOOOOOR. And one ONE QUARTER VEELAAAAAAAA!" And HALF HUMAAAAAAAAAAAN! Harry and Draco named the baby Traize PeaceCraft because they loved Gundam Wing. They watched it every day. While they were fucking in the fucking broom closet. And waiting for the windows to appear so that they could glisten in the moonlight. But until then they glistened in front of Gundam Wing on the tv. It was hot.

THE END?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.?.


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